This company is stupid, but the jackass who actually bought this water is an epic failfucktardmaximus!!!

According to the website, we have cell walls. Awesome — I’ve always wanted to be plant-like.

There is no such thing as a free lunch. Unless, of course, you’re a grad student.

That’s the dumbest label I’ve ever seen. It’s not even witty.

Oh noes! If I drink city tap water, I won’t be able to absorb it because it is so damned clumpy!!!!! I better find this shit before I get dehydrated.

Behind this ridiculous stuff is the same Dr. James Chappell from the past-midnight repulsive paid-for advert segments about dual-action intestinal cleansing. He explains that we all carry about 10 pounds of excrement stuck to the intestines, which rots and makes us sad and therefore we all ought to take the gentle laxatives that they are selling. I think he ought to take his laxatives himself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg4hQbPvvao

I demand that company free those innocent electrons. Free the radicals! Free the radicals! Free the radicals! Free the radicals!

This is hillarious!

This kind of shit just never gets old…

Breath real oxygen, y’all. Did you know that you’re fat and stupid because your oxygen is diluted with inert gases (some of them radioactive!) that make you fart?

I feel like I’m in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, and my water drinking should be set to the music of an opera. The clumped water can be Elmer Fudd wearing a ridiculous set of armor with that spear in his hand. He’s too positive and egotistical for his own good, so he goes bumbling through the cartoon body getting smacked in the face by tree limbs and generally looking like a fool.

It’s not that they’re stupid – they’re either just evil (they don’t believe it themselves but don’t mind deceiving other stupid or naive people) or they’re evil and stupid (they don’t know what’s going on either but insist on claiming they do). Either way, the people shilling this crap are deserving of ridicule and contempt.

Huzzah for patent-medicine water!

I like the guaranteed reduction potential of -50 mV. Perhaps everyone trying to do water splitting is retarded and using shitty low potential water instead of RE²AL WATER©™® that is apparently easily reducible??

I would totally drink such water if it were free

So…what I should do is keep my water in a big Leyden jar, the interior carefully kept poised at a negative potential?

Until I have time to build one, I still have them beat. I can just wave my water past a power outlet a few times.

HOMEOPATHIC Electron Water! HA!

I just hope it’s not so powerful that drinking it turns me into some kind of lightning-shooting supervillain!

(p.s. on an unrelated note…tell Wordpress(tm) that a “+” is a valid character in an email address, dagnabbit!)

Even better is ‘light’ water that, I quote, “…destroys pathogenic bacteria (infectious diseases), the H1N1 virus and blood…”.

http://www.johnellis.com/index.php

(PS these guys are all CRAZY)

http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/crap.htm
It could be much longer.

Are you serious? I’ve never seen a label so full of rubbish.
it seems stupidity has no limits!

For the holy grail fans, another amazing ChemCatChem graphical abstract

So I guess when I have one of those days when I’m feeling too acidic, I should pick this up. The problem is that I’m already too negative.

I’m torn.

Who wants to pool together a few bucks to get us a copy of “Alkalize OR DIE”?

http://www.amazon.com/Alkalize-Die-Theodore-Baroody/dp/0961959533/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256711347&sr=8-1

Sounds Interesting to read! I guess every single person on earth who have been consuming water must have been dead and healthy, but we’re still fit. May be the company’s undergone some tremendous loss and trying this crazy stuff to divert people’s attention towards this crazy stuff.

They say there is NMR evidence for planar hexagonal water: http://www.aquatechnology.net/VITALIZER_PLUS.html How about that! I guess real scientists just missed it for all these years of research. It had to be discovered by the alternative remedy folks.

Look up “polywater.” Books have been written on the subject. Some very prominent scientists had their reputations ruined by arguing in favor of its existence, even though they admitted later that they had been wrong.

I am curious though, what with the acidification of the oceans… what got ‘alkalized’ in return?

Quack, quack!

Google “O2 water” and you’ll find this” “Life O2 uses patented technology from Life Technologies, Inc. to put extra oxygen into ordinary water. The resulting beverage has 10 times more oxygen (72mg) as ordinary water. This provides an extra boost of energy (by increasing the amount of oxygen in your blood).”

I like the free electrons…why charge extra for them? Maybe we could make a free-electron laser with this water…

Did anybody ever see the sports drink bottles (I think it was PowerAde when it first came out) that had the typo on the ingredient label that said that each bottle contains “100 g” of sodium? That one got fixed in short order – wish I’d kept the original. At least that was an honest mistake.

I’ve got two words for you:

“Click Chemistry”

Silly grad students, they weren’t giving you the water to drink they wanted you to run your reactions in it. Just think about all those lovely electons they’ve got floating around in there to enchance reactivity! Putting it on the luch table was just thier sure-fire way of getting poeple to look at the bottle.

The website is funny. I like the guy with the beret. Is that supposed to make him more credible? Also the idea of a “water concentrate” is hilarious! Like the old joke – “Instant water — just add water!!” Not to mention how it “seperates” (sic) molecules.

Somehow, I think “Alkalized” water would taste pretty nasty – like all chalky and with that dull bland taste like lyme or something gives water. Of course, that’s assuming it isn’t so alkalized it eats right through you.

I did once alkalize my body or at least my digestive tract, quite by accident, I may add.

I once had really bad heartburn and didn’t have any normal antacid around so I mixed up some baking soda and drank that. The only problem is I got the amounts wrong and used way too much baking soda. things got too alkalized…

I think I managed to completely neutralize the acid in my stomach and actually get it past a PH of 7 and into the basic region.

I know this because after taking way too much baking soda, my body decided it had better purge my stomach and did so for the next hour, out of both ends. After an hour, I was still heaving liquid out of my stomach and I’m pretty sure it was still basic in ph, because it was white and chalky and not stingy and sour like vomit is supposed to be.

I can’t believe how many stupid people there are, I’m talking about everyone who made a comment here.
Why don’t you drink this water for a couple of weeks and see if it makes a difference to you before you go judging it.
The people behind this obviously believe they have something that could help people become healthier and you guys all you could do is ridicule them, it had to start by 1 idiot and a bit of an encouragment, and look how you are all carrying on.
You only deserve your toxic tap water.
So go ahead, keep your comments rolling, I’ve given you another reason to be more stupid and silly instead of think.

I’ve been drinking nothing but distilled water, or bottled water on trips, for over 30 years. The last 8 months I’ve been adding Dr. Chappell’s Zeta Crystals as I’ve been warned pure distilled water is acidic, hence my years of heartburn? I start everyday with 50ozs. Upon receiving my Z Crystals my roommate tasted them and commented, “You fool, you paid money for nothing but salt. It tastes just like salt!” Thinking that perhaps roommate was right and knowing that salted land grows nothing, I put my fresh cut herbs into glasses of the Zeta water and change it every 3 days or so. Some fresh cut herbs sprouted roots and I can plant them while others merely stayed green for weeks. Since adding Z Crystals to my 5 gallon water bottle and dispenser I now have to clean them every few months as algae is now growing where none ever grew before. I sprout my own mung beans, broccolli seeds, wheat grass, etc. Using the Z Crystals has only benefited sprout production. Last month I traveled to Sedona, AZ and received extensive tests for cancer. My urine PH tested 7.9 – the lab guy was amazed. My heartburn has improved since drinking the Z. Crystals but at the same time I started eating yogurt (never had before) and if I cut back on my alcohol intake my stomach feels better so I’m sure that impacts as much as the Crystals might. I take meds for hypertension – I have seen no drop in my blood pressure with the Z. Crystals.
For all the Jr. scientists; no, none of the above was performed in a controlled environment nor hermetically sealed chamber and I still have to wear my reading glasses. There were no findings of cancer but then it isn’t rampant in our family.
Of interest: when I ordered my Z. Crystals I waited and waited and … I finally got PO’d and wrote to complain. Dr. Chappel wrote back expressing his regrets but stated that the most recent shipment of Z. Crystals he received were not up to standard, they had to be returned, and a new shipment ordered. My order took another couple weeks. If he’s selling any ole powdery substance why the delay, why didn’t he quickly send out some more table salt?
Good luck to you all and I’m sure you will find that which you seek.